Nothing New To Report

So far no news. I am ignoring my symptoms but here's whats going on for me:
-Boobs are sore...and feeling GIANORMOUS.
-I've so far nearly gagged eating potato salad and yogurt.
-I've been feeling nauseus.
-I'm tired.
-Strange feelings in the lower abdomen like cramping but not.
-Hearburn hard core
So I don't know if these things mean anything or I'm just imagining them or what. I really hope there is a BFP in the future. I feel like I'll never get pregnant. Its hard to be patient and know that it is in God's time. So we'll see. To keep my mind off of it I've been crocheting a baby blanket. I can't wait until its finished.

Not sure that it will ever happen...

Well although today I am having IPS (imaginary pregnancy symptoms) I just don't think I'll ever get pregnant. Its frustrating. POAS day will be may15th this month. So only 9 days until then. Its going to be a long 9 days.

Implantation Bleeding

Well let me start this off by saying I don't think I'm pregnant at all. I've been under a lot of stress and I don't feel any different than before. But today I am 12 or 13 DPO and I have some really light brownish colored spotting...well with some EWCM....its so faint...so is it implantation bleeding or just my period starting really slow. Normally AF is heavy and I'm cramping from the get go...no warning just all out BOOM and it hits and I feel like junk. I have no cramps I've been feeling great other than a little tired from working a whole bunch...and then this super light spotting. Its strange. Not sure what the deal is but I'm sure you'll find out soon. AF is due on Friday. I have a feeling she'll show... Stay tuned.

Hiatus

Sorry I haven't been on in a while. I had to take a break for a bit. I had some other non TTC struggles going on and was avoiding communication but I'm back. So I'm at like 7 DPO no symptoms but I'm not looking for them. This was a pretty hectic month so I'm figuring that nothing happened so I'm just doing my thing right now. Not really thinking about TTC. I've sort of reached a point that when it happens it happens...or even if it happens it happens.

I've been working a lot and under a lot of stress so today is "Taking Care of Me day!" and I'm getting my hair done (the whole nine yard, color and cut!) and then DH and I are going out of town for the night to spend time with each other. It should be fun times!

So ETD of POAS is going to be April 22nd...I would be 4 days past AF at that point and there is so much going on until then that I won't get to POAS until then. So perhaps you'll hear more news later.

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts!

So the day after I posted the last entry AF showed up. So its now on to April and hopefully a Christmas/New Year's birthday! My recent work situation might be prohibiting the baby making though. You see, I work two jobs. I am constantly running between two places, staying up late, getting up early and eating horribly. Being plus sized already I know this isn't good. Needless to say I don't have time to exercise at all. I am under so much stress I just know I won't concieve until I can quit one of my jobs. DH isn't working currently because he is in school. This May he'll graduate and have a job so at that point I can re evaluate the employment situation but I don't think I'll get pregnant until he graduates. So such is life. I'll keep recording our story.

The Dangerous Web We Weave?

Well I have discovered that the interweb is evil. Well sort of, I thought I would look for information on pregnancy tests...and silly me...here is some of the info I found out. And from credible sources...

From the American Pregnancy Association

How long do I have to wait before I take a test?
Most doctors recommend that you wait until the first day of your missed period before taking a home pregnancy test. A missed period is usually one of the first signs of pregnancy. This is usually around two weeks after conception. However, some tests are more sensitive (and more expensive) than others and can be taken earlier. Concentrations of hCG are reported in milliInternational Units (mIU) or amounts equal to 1/1000th of an IU per milliliter. A pregnancy test with a sensitivity of 20 IU/L is more sensitive than one with 50 IU/L.

How accurate are home tests?
Home tests are very accurate (around 97%) when used correctly. Some kits come with two tests because mistakes do happen.
If you take a test too early, you may get a false negative (when the test says you are not pregnant but you are). Your body needs time for the hormone to rise to a high enough level to be detected in a test. If the test comes back negative but you still think you could be pregnant, wait a few days and try again.

There there is this at US Dept of Health and Human Services

How do pregnancy tests work?
Pregnancy tests look for a special hormone in the urine or blood that is only there when a woman is pregnant. This hormone, human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), can also be called the pregnancy hormone.
The pregnancy hormone, hCG, is made in your body when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus. This usually happens about 6 days after conception. But studies show that the embryo doesn't implant until later in some women. The amount of hCG increases drastically with each passing day you are pregnant.
Many home pregnancy tests claim they can tell if you're pregnant on the day you expect your period. But a recent study shows that most don't give accurate results this early in pregnancy. Waiting one week after a missed period will usually give a more accurate answer.

Then here's this from CNN NEWS:

When should I take a home pregnancy test?
Many home pregnancy tests can be taken as early as the first day of a missed period. For the most accurate results, it's best to wait until one week after a missed period.

So before I put the cart in front of the horse I should just wait and see if AF shows up!

BFN again...

Well I broke down. I know, I know I said I would wait until Sat. but I just wanted to know. I read the box and felt comfortable about testing now. And I did this am. BFN. Thats ok though. I've got to keep trying.
I'm sure my stress level isn't helping and I know I've been under a lot with working two jobs. And because of the two jobs I am eating out a lot. So I am going to attempt to eat better and start exercising. I think I need to be more healthy. That has got to help too. Also I have to cut back on my caffiene intake. As I suck down my Vanilla latte...hey its half caf! Heh...
So now on to team April. Which if I were to concieve that would put my expected due date to Dec 26th or so. So we'll see!

T minus 5...

So recently I've been having "symptoms". They've been more noticeable than before...and really more annoying. I've been having cramps since about 7DPO and now I am on 10DPO and I still feel the same. Low abdominal cramping, very tired, acne break outs, queasiness (on and off through out the day, breast tenderness/sensitivity, occasional dizziness and lower back pain. I know that its still kinda early and it could just be af but something seems different.

I talked to DH about it but I didn't want to get his hopes up. He said that its OK to be hopeful but not to be discouraged or disappointed if af shows up. So that's my new "philosophy". I am hopeful and not discouraged. So I get to test on Saturday. AF is due Friday. If there is no af by noon (she normally shows up early after I wake up but is definitely there by noon) on Friday I am going to purchase some hpt's.

Its sort of exciting to possibly be pregnant. If not then we just try again. I am now feeling much better about the whole situation. Even if we don't get pregnant ever I am ok with that. I know its all on God's time now.

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:25 (ESV)

So patience is something I am lacking. I know that I have discussed this more than once and here I am again seeking patience. So I am about 5 DPO...or so. Again I am praying for patience. Its very hard when TTC to not get thinking about being pregnant or "is this time THE time?" And its also even harder to not think that every little thing is a "sign." I am I really feeling nauseous or am I feeling nauseous because I want to feel nauseous. The things that run through the TTC head. I don't get to POAS until Easter. Hopefully I'll have some other "Good News"

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” —Galatians 6:9

http://www.christian-mommies.com/ages/in-the-womb/a-little-more-patience/

As I sit here at work today I stumbled on this article. I think its totally true. I know that God has a plan for me and if it involves children great and if not then I need to figure out what I want to do or really what am I called to do. I feel like I am called to be a mother. I love children and I just feel like thats what I'm supposed to do.
I am enjoying my time with my husband. So its not like its all for naught. I feel closer to him than ever before and we are in this together. Its just hard to feel like this. And we both feel the same way.
I am entering the ovulation time of my cycle and I just feel like its never going to happen. I don't really think that I will ever be a mom. I never really saw myself graduating from college or married either.
Now I am trying to figure out how to be ok with it. I know that God has a plan and me wanting it now won't make it happen any faster. I guess that it really boils down to patience something I am truly lacking.

Our most gracious and attentive Lord,
Help us to remember that you move in your time, knowing as only you know the perfect time and the perfect way to answer our prayers. The flower begins at seed—a seed we neither see nor understand. And gradually the seed sprouts, still deep within the damp earth, hidden from our vision. We may be tempted to believe it is not growing, and yet if we dig it up to calm our doubts, we will damage it and stunt its full blossom. Help us to be ever mindful, dear Father, that you have planted the seeds of peace for your children. Help us to continue to walk with you and know you more, growing ever stronger in our faith that what you have promised you will do, even when we do not yet have the physical evidence we seek.
AMEN!

Team March!

Well here's on to team March. Hopefully this time will be the time. Dh and I have been trying for 5 months now. I am not obsessing as much as I was. I'm not researching online and what not. I need to get it off my brain for now. Not to say I won't be trying just not focusing on making a baby so much. We are going to enjoy our time together for now. So thats pretty much all that I've got for now. I work a bunch so I don't have much of a life. Crazy.

Sam

Another BFN

I tested today. BFN. I know its still early and theres hope and all but I really don't think that I should be hopeful. There wasn't even a faint pink line. So now I wait for AF to come this friday. Perhaps this isn't a good time for us anyway. I was trying to be so "zen" about it. I'm not sure I even know what that means. But I am trying to be patient and wait for God's plan to happen. So we just keep on trying. I am enjoying the trying part but it would be nice to get some results. I'm starting to feel like there is something wrong and I'll never get pregnant. So in the meantime I'm trying my best to be patient.

There is no great achievement that is not the result of patient working and waiting. J.G. Holland

So I really want to be pregnant but I don't feel pregnant. I have no symptoms or anything...that I can tell. Well and not to mention the "I hope I'm pregnant" brain that thinks everything is a symptom. I hope that this cycle is the time that everything works out just right.
Its crazy cuz some women know they are pregnant the second implantation happens....other women wouldn't have a clue until they start showing. Does it make you less of a woman if you don't know what your body is telling you? or if its telling you anything at all...
Its hard to be patient for God. I am hoping that it happens soon. All I can do is wait.
So this next week is going to be hard. I have a lot of working to do before the 24th...(1st day I'll let my self test I'll be 2 days late by then) . And I'm not looking forward to it. Working two jobs is too much. But this is temporary and keeps me busy.

The Dreaded Two Week Wait

I have entered in the dreaded two week wait. But I have a new out look on all of this ttc stuff. I am trying not to stress out about it. I figure that this is something that we can't really control. No matter what you do you can't make it happen on your own. Its all on God's time anyway. He knows if DH and I are really ready for this or not. He already knows when it will happen I just need to be patient. So here I am blogging...and trying to be patient. I may not be all the time. Especially when AF is due and all of that. But I figure that there really is no point on freakin out about it and I that I just need to live my life.
In other news, DH and I exchanged presents for Valentine's day already. We both suck with secrets and stuff. He got me some really amazing things last night. I really love the guy he didn't have to get me those things but he wanted to. He was pretty excited about what he received as well. Its not about the presents though. Its about letting that person know you love them. I love that man more every day.

Well this is just not working out for me...

I switched to blogging at What to Expect and it doesn't seem to be letting me in. So I think I am going to switch back to blogging here. Hopefully I can get on and retrieve my last posts from what to expect. I love the message board but the website is lacking.

So yesterday I went to see my gyn to get a preconception check up. Things seem to be in good shape. I am a plus sized lady so I know I have some other problems but I have done some research and I found that just because I am over weight doesn't mean I am unhealthy. And many plus sized women have had babies before and I can have a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy.

Do I love that I am over weight? No, do I feel like I am in the best health ever...definately not. But I do feel like I am ready and my body is ready to have a baby.

My dr wasn't concerned about me having a baby and in fact she didn't even tell me to loose weight. She is checking my thyroid incase thats a problem. But I feel better about this whole baby thing.

So I am going to document my time ttc and the pregnancy. I want to help other women like me have as much information as possible about this whole process.

Sorry about the hiatus...

So its been a while since the last post. But here's whats happened. I took a test and it came up negative then 3 days later I got my period. So that was dissapointing. This time we are going to try using Ovulation tests. I hope that those work for us. Its hard being patient. And thats the whole part of TTC. So what can you do. I thought I was experiencing symptoms all the time and I think it was my brain just wanting it so badly. I know that if its God's will it will happen but it just takes some time. And I need to trust that. But if its not in God's plan I am ok with that. So yeah, now its on to wait to do the testing and see what happens.

As far as emotions go with all of this its been ok. I was dissapointed when I discovered that we had to try again but I also knew that the first month of trying it doesn't work. So we try again. We've been eating out less. I know my husband is doing well through all of this. And trying is the best part. We are very close right now...not that we weren't before but in a different way. So we'll see what this month holds for us.

First Entry

Hello Readers?
I've been looking online for some sort of information for preconception. Not finding much helpful information I have decided to log this journey of pregnancy because I think that there needs to be something out there for other couples who are trying. This is the first full cycle that we have been trying so here it is for you.

Our Story

Well hubby and I decided a while ago that we would start trying to have a baby...well more like stop trying to keep from getting pregnant. We've stopped all BC methods and are leaving this baby making process up to God. If it happens it happens I don't want to stress out about it. But at some point I stopped with the layed back attitude. I think we are trying but with out all the clinical stuff. We are just increasing the amount of sex at approximate time of ovulation (ATO). So I am in the middle of the ATO week. I am not sure when I'll be ovulating but I'm about mid way through my cycle. The hardest part of this whole process is the waiting. I have different symptoms and I am not sure if its pregnancy symptoms or just me wanting to think I'm pregnant. So far I've had sore boobs, cramps, and a horrid headache. It's been very hard to not get my hopes up or my hubby's. So we'll see...in like a week and a half or so I should be able to have a bit of a clue.

Emotionally its been sort of hard. You mentally prepare yourself for parenthood and then you have to wait. And then every sign of anything you are looking it up in a book as a pregnancy symptom. Its all about waiting right now and if you get pregnant its a sort of relief but then if you don't you are just doing it all over again. So who knows.